ONLY 1 HOUR FROM BRISBANE
Just an hour west of Brisbane, a rare piece of Australian wartime history has hit the market: a genuine WWII RAAF communications bunker at Mount Tarampa. Built with 30cm-thick concrete walls and partially buried into a hillside, the bunker once supported operations at the nearby Lowood airstrip. The property spans two titles totalling about 7.2 acres, including a block with the bunker and a basic studio, plus adjoining vacant land. Marketed as flood-free and private, it’s being pitched as a lifestyle buy, weekend retreat, or unique tourism opportunity for buyers wanting something well beyond the standard acreage block.
What would Dr Evil from the Austin Powers Movie Franchise make of this property?
Alright, All You Frickin’ Idiots, Listen Up I’ve found the ultimate lair.
This is a genuine WWII-era communications bunker in Mount Tarampa, Queensland. About an hour from Brisbane—close enough to civilisation to exploit it, far enough away to avoid it. Exactly how I like it.
And let me be clear: I didn’t spend six years in evil medical school just to find you some ordinary hole in the ground.
The price?
It’s under ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
$950,000 to be exact, Number 2.
Now I know what you’re thinking:
“Why pay trillions, when we can pay… millions?”
Exactly.
I was this close to demanding ONE MILLION DOLLARS from the RBA to keep interest rates down.
Then they raised them another quarter percent. EVIL GENIUSES. Clearly, we’re playing the same game.
The Lair of Your Dreams
(And Yes, Number 2, You’ll Like It)
Let’s talk structure.
Thirty-centimetre-thick reinforced concrete.
Cold War vibes. WWII provenance.
Walls thicker than Austin Powers.
This place can withstand floods, bombs, liquid hot magma—and yes, sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.
And Number 2, before you start whining—throw me a frickin’ bone here.
Do you know how hard it is to find real estate like this in Queensland? Impossible.
Until now.
Add a lava pit for good measure.
A command centre full of buttons nobody understands. And yes—a working tractor beam. What does it do? Doesn’t matter. It’s intimidating.
The Ultimate Man Cave
Look, even evil needs downtime.
This bunker isn’t just for domination—it’s for reflection, isn’t it, Mr. Bigglesworth?
Pinball machines.
Classic cars.
A shooting range.
Fat Bastard can play the bagpipes and honestly… no one would be the wiser.
And best of all, it’s the perfect escape from the Queensland heat.
“It’s going to be frickin’ freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth!”
Which is exactly how a proper bunker should feel.
Apocalypse-Proof Living
Some of you idiots are “preppers.”
Stockpiling beans. Watching the news too much.
Relax. This is the perfect place to ride out any storm.
Not everyone understands the prepper mentality.
“Scott, you just don’t get it, do ya? You don’t.”
I’ll be underground with Mini-Me, sipping champagne and placing demands with the United Nations.
Let’s face it—no one can stop you if you own a bunker like this.
Airbnb, Café, or Full-Scale World Domination
You could turn this into the world’s most exclusive Airbnb.
No—on second thought, Klaus Schwab already claimed that one, didn’t he? Number 2…
Why let civilians meddle with your plans for world domination?
Personally, I’d open a café…
Charge extra for almond milk.
Quietly shrink portion sizes.
And bring the world to its knees… one cappuccino at a time.
Final Offer
(Before I Lose My Patience)
Alright, I’ve laid it out for you, you freaking amateurs.
A genuine WWII bunker.
An incredible location.
Sharks. Laser beams. Lava pits.
Enough space for all your evil needs.
$950,000.
Or $1.5 million if you want the extra four acres.
Contact eXp Realty and secure your evil lair today.
Because if you don’t…
I’ll send Mini-Me to throw you into the lava pit.
Chitchat Newspaper. March 2026.